U.S. Military

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I recently saw a news article on Facebook honoring a soldier that was once in the NFL and decided to go into the military. I was blown away. The paycheck difference of this career change for this man alone says how much courage soldier has. I immediate felt honored to live in this country like this. To be protected by men and women who are behind the scenes fighting and doing horrible things for the freedom family has.
So I was truly discussed and shocked at some of the horrendous comments people were posting. American citizens blasting their military. Referring to them as “parasites of the US government”. I was almost in tears with anger reading, as retired vets tried to defend themselves via internet. You could feel the emotions of these soldiers in their responses. I just could not believe these US citizens filled with hate for our men and women in uniform. Calling our military the biggest form if socialism other than North Korea. It was outrageous.
These soldiers were fighting for the very opposite.
My first thought was, “what a bunch of uneducated conspiracy theorist. They are crazy and obviously misinformed human beings.” Then I realized something the irony in this conversation. Our military serves the US to maintain its power and freedom. So no other country can take that away. So we can have the freedom to have crazy people insult them through conversations on social media. Honestly, I just laughed after u realized that. These people can believe, say, and worship however they choose, because of our soldiers (past and present).
If your a soldier, thank you. You have given us more freedom than we realized. You should be receiving the numbers on the NFL pay checks. You have to do unthinkable things and see unimaginable horror. So we can say and believe whatever we want. Thank you. I can go to church on Sunday and read my Bible openly because of your service. I’m honored to have such amazing people fighting for my families freedom.
Every time someone insults you, remember you gave them that right and smile. God Bless our Military.

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Favoritism

I feel the need to express my feelings on favoritism. We all have our favorite things we love: brands, food, candy, coffee, etc. However, I am not talking about material things. I’m talking about real humans with feelings, specifically, children.
I have been struggling with this for some time now. I have watched my two daughters become neglected because of favoritism, I have witnessed this with my own eyes many other times as well. It makes me furious.
Its perfectly understandable to be closer to some of your grandchildren, nieces or nephews, or even children. That is okay. We all have different personalities and some mesh well and others not as much. We also go through things in our lives that can taint relationships or put distance between us and certain people. That’s part of life and being human. However, children should all be treated equally (I’m talking from birth to 17 years old).
My thoughts to all Grandparents:
I absolutely do not care if you never see a certain grandchild. I do not care if you have a bad relationship with one of their parents. I do not care if you do not have a lot of money. Everyone of them should receive equal: your love, gifts, and attention from you.
You may watch your son’s children a few times a week and see them more often than your other children’s’ kids who live across the country. I DO NOT CARE. Those other kids should hear phone calls from you. You should Face time or Skype them regularly, When you are in your grandchild’s presence you should have all your attention on that child: asking them questions about them, being interested in what they have to say. Tell them fun stories about yourself and what your childhood was like. Find out their likes and dislikes. Know what they are interested in, because it always changes.
It is not their job to reach out to you as a grandparent. They are children! Their brains are focused on what is there. It is not their parents job to force a relationship with you and your grandchild, because they are busy raising them. You need put in the effort, whenever you can.
I know you have lives too. That’s okay if its not daily or even weekly, If its a couple times a month, or even a few weeks in a row then a few weeks go by. Make the effort as much as you possibly can, and focus on them.
If they do not like you, find out why and try to be different. They are children and you’re the adult. End of story.

Entitlement of American Citizens: The Moral Decline

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It’s scares me to think about the person running our country when my children and grandchildren are adults. I look at my generation and the choices they are making and think we are in for a country of even more hurt.

My generation lacks respect for their parents and other authority, especially law enforcement. I see drug addiction (which is not new). I see teen pregnancy and high school drop outs. I see my generation getting government hand outs as their only source of income. They expect to get things handed to them without working for it. Dad’s are not present in children’s lives, and moms are working multiple jobs to make up for it, leaving children with daycare or grandparents. Entitlement is a disgrace to America.

Government hand outs should be for children, elderly people, the disabled, widows, mentally ill, and pregnant women. There should be assistance for those with jobs that are struggling to feed their families, and the people desperately searching for employment.

We talk about having equality in America, but I think that is not something people really want.

We have drug addicts and single moms with multiple kids from different dads living in government housing on TANIF and food stamps and no other job.

Then we have my husband working 50+ hours a week as a estimator/manager for a good local construction company struggling to make ends meet every month, with no government assistance.

We are succeeding and making an honest living and we are proud and grateful for that. But it’s discouraging to see jobless people with a cart full of government paid groceries, and I’m counting pennies in the check out line.

We have gone so far from helping people, America is an enabler. People getting hand outs won’t get jobs. The system is set up to discourage employment not encourage it. That is a slippery slope.

When my parents generation gets too old to work, who is going to open businesses. My dad is a successful self employed cabinet builder. He has no college education, but he had a skill and opened a business and worked his butt off to keep it up and running. He had goals and a family and saw a bright future. How is my generation and my children’s generation going to look? Better yet, who is going to be America’s president when my grandchildren are around.

The American dream of success is enabled by our country. We should be helping farmers, small and large business owners, and people who are trying to work hard so that we can have things like car dealerships, cabinets in our home, local produce, furniture shops, and things that do not need to be purchased by other countries or big corporations.

Pretty soon small business owners will not be able to survive, if they have made it this far. Our cost of living is going to continue to rise at dramatic rates.

This Michael Brown case has made it more obvious to me the decline of America’s youth. People are protesting about racist injustice and to “kill cops”, all in memory of a criminal thug that robbed a convenient store who had no respect for law enforcement. That is our countries reason for uprising and protesting about unfairness of race.

How do you change what has already been done? We can’t change it.

I truly believe our country has seen the last of it’s morality and integrity as a whole. There are individuals that could help improve it, but the chances of America and the entitled people of my generation electing someone who will help our country is unlikely. Unless they are giving people something like healthcare or “change”, they won’t get elected. American could care less about democracy, the working class or economy. They care about free stuff and getting short cuts and exceptions.

God help our country and the immorality that haunts us. As soon as we started talking about removing God from our nation is when our country started to crumble. May God save us.

Today Sucks

I have no patience today! I got about 2 hours of sleep last night my 4 month old kept me up. I also go woken up my my 18 month old screaming. I think she had a nightmare. I haven’t gotten longer than a four hour stretch of sleep in two, almost three weeks. I know that’s part of having kids. But don’t I get a cranky morning pass every once in a while?
My husband have never, in the 18 months (straight) that we have been dealing with infancy, gotten up with our girls. I went a whole week with no sleep. I have never forced him to get up, mostly because he wouldn’t do it.
So when I ensure sleepless nights and he wakes up with 8 hours of sleep and is grumpy, how do I contain myself?! It’s not fair that I can’t even take a shower by myself and he gets to leave to go hunting for the entire day! Then wakes up in a bad mood!
This morning he asked what was wrong with the baby. He said to be that, “she woke me up last night.” I wanted to punch him in the face, get in the car, and then drive to a mountain top and stay there all day long.
We have a horrible marriage and we have been trying to work on it. I’ve been personally trying to work on how I deliver my feelings in conversation to him. However a good smack in the face is the only way I could get my point across this morning. So I will say nothing. Ugh!!

Motherhood Don’ts, That I Do.

I have been so inspired by some of the blogs I’ve read today. I decided to write a post about all the things I do to survive motherhood, that may be very frowned upon..

Television
Unfortunately I have made television my 18 month old’a favorite form of entertainment. I have two girls ages 18 months and 4 months.
My 4 month old is pretty needy not very easy going. She likes to do something different every 5-10 minutes.
I am constantly trying to meet both their needs. Entertaining my 18 month old and tending to my 4 month old. So while I’m trying to meet my 4 month olds needs I have found Disney Jr really helps with entertaining my 18 month old. So I turn on Disney Jr in the morning and it remains on for most of the day.
I do turn the tv off while my 4 month old is napping, so I can spend focused one in one time with my oldest. We read books all day. Her new favorite thing is coloring, even though most of her enjoyment is putting the crayons in and out of the box. I do go on walks with them as well. I don’t only let them watch tv. I do have it on way too much and it gets me through the day.

Meal Time
I have a very good schedule for my oldest. She eats, naps
and goes to bed at the same time everyday. We have finally achieved her sleeping well and through the night. She eats three meals a day, and she doesn’t snack a lot, maybe twice a day. She only drinks water and milk. But she does eat fast food. It is hard to make a nice dinner for just me and my 18 month old. Her favorite food is chicken nuggets. She eats veggies and fruit. She’s really not picky, but I hate cooking for two people. It wastes food and it’s time consuming.
I do cook for my family, but she’s no stranger to Wendy’s 99 cents chicken nuggets. I try not to do it that often but I do feed that to her more than I should. Yeah I am introducing my kids to poison, but it’s so convenient!

Those are just two of the many things I do wrong as a parent. I am completely at fault for these things and it’s a result of laziness. Honestly, I’m just trying to survive the hardest job out there, motherhood. I have also learned a lot over these last 18 months and maybe my next blog will be about some of the things I have learned.
Moms, just try not to beat yourself up over the little things. If the little things become big things than you can stress! I give my girls love and discipline. Their needs are met everyday and I alway strive to be a better mom than I was the day before.

One of Those Hard Days

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I have been working on staying more positive. Why shouldn’t I be? I have been do blessed with my life.
Well today it was extra hard to stay positive.
We were getting ready to leave the house, so I call the dogs inside. Come to find out, my huge stupid Rottweiler hopped the fence into the neighbors yard, again. We have fixed the fence five times now, and our neighbors hate us. And I can’t blame them!
I packed up the kids and drove and got our dog with a million apologies. Then my husband got mad at me because she hopped the fence!
So, not only do I have the worst behaved dogs on the planet, but my husband is in denial about it. They are his dogs, not ours. I cannot train them or leave them outside for extended periods of time. If we ever get a divorce it will be because of the dogs. The Rottweiler sheds really bad because she has skin allergies. I would have to sweep my house multiple times a day to keep it clean. I don’t have time for that. And the other dog likes to go to the bathroom in the house at night and does a multitude of other ridiculous things. They have made me hate animals. It’s sad really.

So then my 18 month old daughter had a doctors appointment. It was very close to nap time and it went longer than we thought. As we were leaving she tried to go play in the playhouse again. I told her no, we had to go get sissy from grandmas house. Well, she threw the biggest and loudest tantrum ever. She dropped to the ground screaming and kicking. I just stopped and thought for a second about leaving her there and pretending she wasn’t my kid. I honestly have never experienced her do this, let alone in a public place. She will cry when I say no. Or get mad and pout. I have NEVER seen this. I was in shock, until I realized the entire waiting room was staring at us. I quickly picked her up and walked to the door as she screamed bloody murder. We got outside, and I looked at her with my angry mom look and said sternly, “do NOT EVER do that again.” She stopped crying until we got in the car. It was so embarrassing. I had not been prepared for that one. I have a sweet girl not a little brat, or so I thought.

Then my husband informed me that his pay check was $250 short, because he bought some tool through his work. (That he’s only used once.) He arranged to make payments but they must have forgot. He is a manager and does the estimates for a big construction company in our area. He is very under paid for what he does, and he also only gets paid once a month. Which is so tough! He gets paid on the 1st and we are broke by the 5th every single month. It’s rough. Especially when we didn’t plan for things like people’s birthday parties or needing new tires. God has really provided for us though. We have survived so far. But I don’t want to just survive. I want to be comfortable. Not rich! I just want to have more than $50 in our bank account after we get all our necessities and pay bills.

I also decided today to go back to work part time. It’s not that many hours and it’s at night so I won’t be missing out on time with my girls. I can’t stand being stressed financially while I can’t do anything to help. So it will be nice to contribute. Even though my husband isn’t crazy about it. We need this.
So that was my day and a little background about my family. Hope you all had a much less eventful and relaxing day.

Why I Will Teach My Daughter About Outer Appearance

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First impressions are not measured on inner beauty.
This world is an imperfect one. People judge you quickly. Most of the time they have an impression of you before you even speak. Aren’t we all guilty of this? It’s not fair that we judge people on outer appearance. Unfortunately, this is the kind of world we are raising our beautiful children in.
I have two daughters with the most amazing souls. They are sweet and kind hearted. They have compassion and are gentle. I wish everyone could see those traits the second they meet them. However, finding out someone’s inner beauty takes time and many interactions. That’s not always something you get with someone.
The best example is when you are trying to get a job. You are interviewed once (sometimes more), then that will make or break you. If you show up with unfixed hair and unflattering clothes, you are probably not going to get the respect you deserve. You have already been judged.
I believe, there is nothing wrong with taking care of the body God gave you. Making yourself look the best you can each day, shows you care about yourself. It gives an impression that you are not lazy. It is not wrong to wear make up and cute, appropriate, clothing. It does not cover up what God gave you. It enhances what he gave you. Like painting the inside of a house. It doesn’t change the floor plan, it just makes it look better.

Don’t you feel better when you are put together and look nice? I know I do.
I went through a depression, and I only wore my hair in a messy bun and sweat pants. I honestly think that made my depression much worse. I was struggling with my internal issues and it reflected on the outside. I began to make myself get ready each day and my inner self started to feel better as well.
I’m not just going to look nice to impress people. I’m going to do it for myself. We educate our selves to make our selves more intelligent. We travel to be more adventurous. We exercise and eat right to be healthy and fit. We wear make up and cute clothes to improve our beauty.
I think I am a pretty person as a whole. Why not show other people that I am?

Save The Judgement: Being A Mom Is Hard

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Judgement and parenting are sadly a package deal. It doesn’t matter what you do there is judgement attached. You’re disciplining too harsh, or your kid is out of control and you need to discipline more. Letting your kids eat sugar is bad, or your weird because your kids don’t eat sugar. Co sleeping or not co sleeping. Watching tv or not watching tv. The list is endless.

Parenting Is Hard Enough
Parenting is so tough. If you’re a parent, you know that. You have to figure out what works for for kid. That takes trial and error. Then when you figure it out you have to be consistent with it or else it won’t work at all. Whether you do time outor a smack on the hand. It’s either not enough or too much.

Reasons Parents Judge Other Parents:
1. They are perfect and so are their children. (Ha!)
2. They are insecure about their own parenting choices.
3. They need to reassure themselves they are doing a better job then some people
4. They haven’t been in that situation yet.
5. Different morals and value different things.
My daughter had a bottle until she was 13 months old. It helped her fall asleep. I knew it was getting to the point where we needed to toss the bottle. My husband and I were gearing up for it, but I was eight and a half months pregnant and I was exhausted. Sleep sounded better than crying.
One day, my sister-in-law watched her for me. She saw the bottle in her diaper bag and the judgement scrolled across her face. She didn’t stop with just a look though, she began to tell me I shouldn’t let her use a bottle because it’s terrible. And gave me reasons why it was horrible to let her still drink from a bottle. She told me I was being lazy and blah, blah, blah. (Which I was being lazy). However, I had bigger fish to fry at the time then taking away her bottle. It was so rude and judgmental. I let her have the bottle for another month just to spite her.
I was already battling with the bottle situation. She had only been off formula for a month, and it wasn’t that bad. I was so mad. I began to make a mental list of all the things she was doing wrong as a parent: At 9 months old, her daughter was eating pizza. She lets her kids eat junk all day long, and as a result her kids are very obese. Her kids are mean.. She isn’t consistent with discipline. And so on and so on.
From that moment she put down my parenting it put us in a competition with our kids. It ruined our relationship. Children shouldn’t be compared, but it happens too often.

We Have All Been Guilty of Judging
Honestly, we do it without meaning too. Some advice, just keep your mouth shut if you aren’t supportive of someones parenting choices. It’s not your kid to raise. Unless they are putting them in harms way, don’t say anything. You have enough to worry about with your own kids.
Parenting isn’t easy and their is no one right way to do it. All kids are different! That’s the best part of parenting, you get to raise them as you see fit. I don’t believe it “takes a village to raise kids”. It takes a strong mom and/or dad to raise their kids. Too many opinions confuses children and can undo parenting values. (So, remember that when you are around grandparents and in-laws.)
Handling Unwanted Advice or Criticism
Everyone wants to help you parent and fix your kid. They have found the perfect way to do it, and they are gonna tell you about it. My advice, just listen to them. Be polite, even if it’s a ridiculous suggestion. You don’t have to use it or even think about it again after their done telling you. However, maybe they do know something you don’t know.
Just make sure you don’t use the bad parenting advice! If you are unsure about something that is suggested do lots of research, and ask your pediatrician. It will help confirm your choice to do it, or it will give you a red flag that you shouldn’t.
I took the worst parenting advice without doing research. My sister-in-law is a CNA. I use to think she knew everything about dealing with kids. So when my oldest daughter wouldn’t sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time at 10 months old, I was despite. I just wanted her to get the rest she needed (and I needed). My sister-in-law told me she gave her oldest daughter, (who still doesn’t sleep well) melatonin before bed. She gave me a bottle of melatonin and said you should give it to her. She told me it was just a hormone, and it really can’t hurt her. So, not only did I start giving it to her at night, it also wasn’t helping her sleep any longer. I eventually stopped giving it to her. I did some research about it later and found out how bad that was. I felt terrible!

Basically My Point Is
Being a mommy is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. So many tears and sleepless nights. I know that most moms feel this way. So, why wouldn’t we encourage each other instead of judging each other? Why would we shame moms for choosing a different parenting method than ourselves? Just try keep the judgment to yourselves and be encouraging to other moms.

Sleep Transitioning: Pacifier or Not?

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We are trying to transition my 4 month old from her bassinet in our room to her crib in her own room. It’s not going like I was hoping. I thought I was going to be much stronger the second time around, but turns out I am not.
Our 18 month old didn’t sleep in her own room until 14 months.She was always sick as a baby. We finally figured out she had allergies. Since, she started taking medicine she’s been a healthy kid. However, she still wasn’t sleeping through the night. I read the book, No Cry Sleep Solution and tried that method for months. I never got anywhere. I decided my need for sleep was greater than her need to wake up a hundred times a night. So, I put her in her crib, and I let her do that thing you aren’t supposed to do, “cry it out”. It took two nights of crying and she hasn’t done it since. She sleeps through the night in her crib, with no problems. So, the thing you aren’t supposed to do, worked like a charm. I actually was pissed that people thought so negatively about this method.
I swore when I would never let my new baby torture us like that. I would let her “cry it out” much sooner. I had seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and this baby was going to sleep for me.
At 4 months old my daughter has been going to bed in her bassinet (with the help of a pacifier) at 8pm waking up at 2:30am to feed and then back to sleep in her bassinet until 6:30am. It was pretty awesome that she was already sleeping so well with only one feeding a night. I decided she was doing well that I needed to put her in her room.
I ordered a crib online and put her nursery together.I was so excited to do this. I did research online to help with the transition. I read the book, Baby Wise, and I found it so helpful (even though it applies to newborns mostly). I was ready! All I needed was the crib.
After an exhausting and busy week, it finally got here, and I had lost my edge. I knew I couldn’t back out. I was so ready for this transition. So, I kindly asked my husband to put the crib together when he had some time (secretly hoping he would be too busy). He did it the next evening. Then, I started making excuses about why I wasn’t going to this week.I needed to get a warm sleep sack for her to sleep in because she couldn’t use a blanket. She was going to get shots this Friday. So, she was going to be fussy (which is a really good reason not to), but it was Sunday and it was five days away.
So, last night I put my big girl panties on. I did our bedtime routine and fed her in her dark nursery around 7:45pm. She was showing all the signs of being sleepy. I burped her and gave her a pacifier. I laid her down and she went to sleep. I sighed in relief! I felt so accomplished because that’s what I did with her every night.
Our house is small enough that I can hear her without a baby monitor. Her room is only 4 feet away from ours. I laid down with my husband and we watched a movie in our room together (with no children). We turned the tv off to go to bed, and she started crying. I let her cry for about 10 minutes before I put her pacifier back in her mouth. Then she fell back asleep. And hour later she did it again. It was the same song and dance over and over all night.
I have been debating on whether to keep her pacifier to help her sleep or to take it away cold turkey.She was always spitting it out anyways, and only takes it when she’s really tired. If I don’t take it away she won’t ever learn to fall sleep without it. It will be harder to take away when she’s older. She will never sleep through the night, because it falls out. She can’t put it back in her mouth, so she’ll cry for me to do it. But, If I take it away she’s going to be so much harder to get to sleep. It’s obviously a comfort to her, and I still hate to hear my baby cry (even though I do believe it is good for them sometimes).I was torn about using the pacifier for sleep, until last night.
Even writing this confirms my choice to get rid of the pacifier, NOW! I think it’s great for babies that need extra comfort. However, the problem here is that I love that pacifier. That’s why it needs to go away. I’m using it for my own comfort, not to help comfort my daughter. I find anytime she’s tired and fussy I pop it in her mouth. That’s for me not her. She doesn’t even want it half of the time.
This is no way a diss on moms that use pacifiers! I think it just depends on your life and your babies needs. I believe every child develops at different times and has different needs.Don’t we as adults?
My oldest daughter needs comfort all the time. She is a thumb sucker. She is very shy and sensitive. I obviously can’t take her thumb away, but nor would want to. It helps her cope with uncomfortable situations. I have never tried stop her. She does it in appropriate situations like; when she’s tired, hungry or uncomfortable. Its not an issue for her. She has learned to self sooth by sucking her thumb. I believe every kid needs to learn how to sooth themselves. Being a kid is hard and teaching them to comfort themselves (along with us as parents comforting them) will help them cope in life. These ways of coping will change as they get older and they will learn to solve problems in other ways. Very rarely do you hear 20 year olds that still suck their thumb or use pacifiers. (Ignore the horror stories about people who’s roommate in college who still suck their thumb.)
As a parent, it is our job to identify our kids needs. Pacifier or no pacifier? Who really needs the pacifier? Make sure they aren’t actually just your needs. It can be both of your needs.
Same with “crying it out”. Do you have a cranky baby who doesn’t sleep well? Are you preventing a good night sleep for your baby, because you hate hearing them cry? It’s true babies need comfort and that’s our jobs. However they also need sleep. Don’t you?

My Introduction

Hello, I’m using my blog more to vent about my life and the issues I’m facing as a mom and a wife. I hope to be relatable and funny. I want to share my stories and interactions to help all you mom and wives out there feel not so alone.
I’m a stay-at-home mom with two beautiful daughters, ages 18 months and 4 months. I have had my hands full. They are awesome little girls, and I am truly blessed. I do however, want to rip my hair out and cry in the bathroom most days.
I’m getting ready to put my 4 month old in her own room. That should be a fun transition.. And then I’m gonna start potty training my 18 month old, because I feel she’s showing signs of being ready.
I want to share my crazy life with you, not to teach you anything but to entertain you. Hope you enjoy all my blogs!!